The past isn’t real
The goal of healing isn’t to fix the past, it’s to fix the present. And sometimes the way to do that is to actually just let go of the past.
The well of sorrows is endless. Like no really, it’s endless. There is no bottom to it. So you really can get lost in it. But that’s not living. Life can only be lived in the present.
There’s a time to grieve and there’s a time to let go. It is possible to over-grieve and over-heal, as in, keep doing that process when it would actually be more helpful to shift out of it, and get on with the living of life.
Grief and sorrow can be compelling, it can feel beautiful. Pain can be seductive, especially if there’s a sense of validation: “this wasn’t fair to me, and this pain proves it”.
But it’s not worth it. There is so much joy available in the present moment that just can’t be found in the past. It’s OK to just let it all be over and find the beauty in this moment right now. And if you’re a bit enthralled to the past, that’s a choice you have to consciously make. Things you are attached to won’t let go of you by themselves, you have to choose to let them go.
(If you’re not actually done grieving then by all means continue. This post is for people who are done but just don’t realize they need to give themselves permission to be done.)
